xanthan gum

The impressive vocabulary is okay for this poem, as I feel it added to your educated feeling. Just don't try to force it upon more passionate poems...or....softer ones. I felt ...

Your rhyming seemed a bit forced and rhythm was severly off meter. Your rhyming was random at first, then in pattern - and so it kept switching back and force. ...

I loved this poem, especially the poweful ending. You have quite an adept hand there.... Otherwise, my only suggestion is that when you are describing something you, much like I, ...

I enjoyed this poem greatly. It was more straightfoward - the casual talk mode that is, as usual, discriminating poetic form. The great way you incorporated this feeling made the ...

I know this poem meant a lot to you...I don't know who this person is, nor what relations existed between you in the past or what will happen in the ...

I enjoyed this - I almost shared feelings with the speaker...or the present speaker...or whatever. But I—I felt it like a gale. I loved this line. i suppose it's the ...

It has a perfect and complex rhythm, which is rare and quite a pleasure, but besides that it confused me and didn't touch me at all. Although I got the ...

Don't change the last line...or at least, don't change it to that. I think it's fine how it is. This is simple, yet good. I enjoyed this poem because it ...

Wow. When I read the beginning, I actually winced. "Another beginner poet...I'll probably have to give them the THIS ISN'T A POEM talk," I thought. Thankfully, you proved me wrong. ...

The rhythm and rhyme didn't annoy me - they actually added to the feeling of the poem. I believe you are improving, but I think that you should start to ...

The words and phrases stab me hard, My throbbing heart starts to bleed. But deep within my heart of love, I know this is what I need. this is the ...

First of all, a very important tip - don't captilize at the start of a line, unless it's starting a new sentance. i think that's how you're supposed to do ...

I agree most with Caligula's Launderette's critique. it's an interesting method, as well, and much easier to critique with paper. now if only my printer wasn't so screwed up.... this ...

This wasn't bad. But you used the actual WORDS that you would use when having a conversation to which you were speaking to, according with line-breaks, so I didn't really ...

pretty good. just some minor mistakes: Not enought to hold on to Just something you can throw away when the experation date comes around spelling mistakes in here. that were ...